Challenging Times - Working Together

Everyone faces challenges from time to time. Most challenges are minor but there can be those that are life changing. How can nannies and parents support and encourage each other through tough times?

The nanny-family connection is very unique. It is more intimate than other work relationships. Nannies and parents team together to work toward the best interests of the children, while also having an employee-employer relationship. So when a challenging situation or crisis arises they are not always sure how to help each other. A lot depends on the situation but if it could affect the children in any way, then parents and nanny need to work together. They need to reach out to each other.

Communication:
While essential every day, communication is vital during tough times.
Talking about a difficult subject, especially if it’s more personal in nature, is hard for everyone. Either party should feel able to ask for a time to sit down and talk. It’s best that these conversations are done when children are not present and even away from the home if possible. Challenging situations are emotionally charged and everyone should be sensitive to this. Some people need to share details while others feel more comfortable sticking to a list of facts. Both options are appropriate and acceptable.
Sometimes face-to-face communication is not possible or is too emotional. You may want to consider other options such as a phone conversation, email or written communication. I would urge to you consider the face-to-face conversation as the best option for everyone to be sure they are on the same page. The next best choice is the phone call.
Once the lines of communication have been opened on a difficult topic, it is much easier to check in and see how things are progressing or to discuss how children are doing during this period. If you can discuss difficult topics, it will be easier to discuss other topics in the future.

Confidentiality:
No matter what the issues, everyone should be respectful of the confidentiality of the conversation, and of any decisions or plans made. Again, these are personal and sensitive topics requiring appropriate respect and consideration.

Making a Plan:
Where children are concerned planning is important. Sometimes the plan is simply to keep communicating about the issue and other times it might require action.
For example – if nanny is having a personal issue that she is concerned could reflect in her work and shares that with the parents; there may be nothing more involved beyond the conversation and understanding the situation. The children will most likely not notice any differences but since everyone is now aware they will be in observing any issues with the children.
However, if the issue is of a more specific and serious nature such as illness of a grandparent which could result in taking one or both of the parents away from the home more frequently, the children will certainly be affected. Then the nanny could be a huge asset in helping with a plan that will support the family as a whole.

 While these are some basic things to remember there are some specific areas that nannies and parents can work together in mutual support. In the next post on Challenging Times – Working Together we’ll explore how nannies and parents can help children through divorce.