Bonding and Relationships

Parents sometimes are concerned at the depth of the bond their child has with their nanny. They shouldn't be. The most important bond that children have is with their parents . . . it's number one! Everyone else is taking a back seat.

That being said there is good evidence that bonding with other adults is important to children's growth and development. Primary caregivers such as nannies are a good example. This bond supports and encourages emotional development, self-esteem and serves as ground work for building other relationships. Particularly in the young child (0-5), a consistent circle of primary adults are critical. First and foremost are the parents, followed by nanny or caregiver, then grandparents and other adult family members, and finally other consistent adult family friends. Each adult has their role to play in encouraging emotional balance for the child.

Each relationship the child forms with a significant adult is unique and specific. If you observe closely you'll see baby react differently to each individual. Parents are sometimes torn about how pleased their baby or toddler is to see the nanny - they begin to think that maybe their child is favoring the nanny. It couldn't be farther from the truth. While they are happy to see their caregiver coming they are IN LOVE with their parents! They will grow to love their nanny as another special person in their lives, someone they can count on - this is healthy and to be expected.

Parents who expect and encourage these other adult relationships with their child will see the benefits. Children who have experienced not only the love and support of their parents but other adults as well will have better coping skills in all types of situations, confidence and a strong self image.